Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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