OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
