Kiss
Puke
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
