We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
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We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
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I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
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