24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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