Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
