Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize