her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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