I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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