You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
