IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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