I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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