It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
