Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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