Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
