I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize