my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
