sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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