would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
