So drunk, too bad you don't want this
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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