Got a toothbrush?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
