I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
