im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
