Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
