Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
