Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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