North Korea, Best Korea!
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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