I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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