32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
