I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
