She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
