Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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