...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
