I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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