As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
