the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
