my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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