He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
