I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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