you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
