I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
