Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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