just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
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I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
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I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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