First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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