of course. lets lasso hookers.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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