why didn't you poke me back
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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