He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
