I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
