I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
