Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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