last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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