There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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