I think I am morally bankrupt
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
