Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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