just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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