East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
