Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just threw up on my dentist
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
