I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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