I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
