I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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