Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
