You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
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