ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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