this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
