i think my tv is drunk
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
