even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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