I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
She's JV to your varsity
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
