Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
