me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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