pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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